Why will you end your career as a professional handball player at the end of the season?
I had been asking myself a few questions and enjoyed playing handball less and less. It is normal to have doubts, questions but for me it persists. When what should be your passion becomes a constraint, that’s not good. This season is my second year as a pro at BBH. When I signed my first contract, there were three of us on the left winger and I knew it would be difficult to win my seat, especially with Constance (Mauny) and Coralie (Lassource) up front. I took it as a new challenge but during the 2020-2021 season I played little. It was frustrating. At some point, we also want to reward training efforts. When you’re not playing, you have a drop in motivation, even a drop in goals. I felt like I was no longer a professional sportswoman, but just bodybuilding (smile).
In this 2021-2022 season, how did you deal with it?
I told myself that I was starting with a blank sheet, with a new coach, new ambitions, I was really motivated. But my decision to quit, I made it pretty quickly. I announced this at the club in September, when I was playing more than last season.
The life of a professional sportswoman is a life at 200 per hour, out of step with the others. I had a hard time taming it.
It didn’t suit me, I wanted to start with something new. The club understood my decision. When you tell someone that you are no longer satisfied with what you do, there can only be understanding. He had to show me it was wrong. It’s really a personal choice, it’s in no way against BBH. It relieved me, although I was a little worried to say it. I had to talk about it, announce it because I wanted to be transparent. I was able to project myself into my future, it is very clear in my head.
Specifically, in June, are you saying enough about pro handball?
Yes. The life of a professional sportswoman is a life at 200 per hour, out of step with the others. I had a hard time taming it. For us they started every three days and it’s intense. I realized that this rhythm is not the one for me. At least I tried, and I have no regrets. I don’t see it as a failure because I have learned a lot. I am proud of what I have done.
Have you thought about leaving to save game time?
I asked myself the question last summer. I was ready to go to another D1 club, but it didn’t happen. Leaving is getting out of your comfort zone, that could have been a good thing. But it didn’t happen, and with it …
Have you no regrets since September?
No. I was told it would be long until June, but I have a contract to honor and I am investing as much as before.
Have you talked about your choice with the players in the squad?
When I announced it, they were surprised, they didn’t expect it. They told me it was a shame to quit after all these efforts. I wasn’t disgusted, but a little bit nonetheless. When you’re not playing it’s tough, you feel a little rejected, a little sideways. I traveled abroad without playing, to Denmark, to Russia… I know I couldn’t expect 60 minutes of play, that I’m not the only one to have been there, especially in Brest. It is to be expected, it is so.
I already have a BTS bank and in September I resume training in the real estate sector, I am taken to Escam, in Brest.
And with your loved ones?
I was a little more worried about telling my family, because they always followed me in there. They understood me, even though my father, when I told them, he told me it was just a pass, that the motivation would return. It took him a week or two to digest, and then he understood, he said “as long as you are happy, do what you want”.
What will you do next season?
I already have a BTS bank and in September I resume training in the real estate sector, I am taken to Escam, in Brest. I’m going to do a bachelor’s degree in a work-study program and plan to go home to live on the north coast, because I miss it a little (laughs).
And handball in all of this?
I think I continue as an amateur because going from everything to nothing would be strange, it would be too brutal. I still don’t know where because it won’t be my priority anymore.